I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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