The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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