i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
