Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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