My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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