I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
