I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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