adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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