What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just forgot I was standing up.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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