Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
babies were throwing up all over the place
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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