found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
