I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
