Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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