The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
