Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
