vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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