Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
