Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
