I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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