I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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