HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
