It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
