we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
