I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
