I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The uberlube is also flammable
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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