shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
