i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
