So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
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Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
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I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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