Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
