my phone needs a breathalizer
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize