hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
