Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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