I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
