This is not my ceiling
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
