yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Is Oprah even human
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize