A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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