So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
