I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
