We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
