my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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