They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Hippo gnu deer
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
