it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
