Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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