I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
