Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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