Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
there is puke in my bra ... again
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