i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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