I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
