Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
