I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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