I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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