im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize