Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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