: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
