if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
