Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday