its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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