i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
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i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
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No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.