yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me